Hot Mammas

Today's message is not a story, it's a call to action. We must stop age inappropriate dressers everywhere! Sweetpotoato and I were walking our poorly-behaved mutt last night, minding our own business, when what bounces down the street, but two balloon-like breasts in a little white halter top. Now I don't mind Sweetpotato looking at fake breasts, I too enjoy a giggle at silicon's expense, but when these bouncing buoys belong to a fifty-year old, they becomes considerably less appealing. I'm not saying that you shouldn't make an effort after forty, I'm just saying you need to look good in clothes, not out of them. I do not care how good you think you look or how many pounds you've recently lost on the Southbeach Diet, if you have grown children, you cannot go out in public wearing a shelf-bra tube top...it's just not decent.

I would like to petition the fashion world to begin carding for all mini-skirt, halter-top, and low-rise purchases. Women over the age of 37, without proof that they have a 17-year old at home, should not be permitted to purchase such youthful apparel. I know these flesh-barring women think they're hot mammas and all, but someone should let them know that at their age "hot" is less about looks and more about flashes!