A Little Blogkeeping

After the longest week in recorded history, I have returned to you. Y'all miss me? I guess you didn't miss me as much this time, since Fashionslave and the Queen Mum were kind enough to keep you entertained. I'd first of all like to thank them both for their time and attention, but of course I have a few things to add.

Fashionslave's diatribe on the wearing of age-appropriate clothing is most certainly an important lesson for us all. And while I do agree with her on all points, I must confess that there is a certain backless, strappy number in my wardrobe with which I simply cannot part. Granted, the last time it saw the outside of my dresser drawer was years ago when I was first dating Sweetpotato. It made one grand appearance (and incidentally there was pole dancing that evening)and has never been heard from again. Obviously it served the purpose at the time, and now I keep it solely to be able to prove to my children that I was hot once upon a time. Okay, and I also try it on occasionally just to see if I still can but I NEVER wear it out of the bedroom because the sight of flab squeezing out from between hot pink elastic straps is not so much sexy as nauseating.

Now, on to the Queen Mum. Okay, so aside from her lack of fact-checking pointed out by my harshest critic before she realized it was my poor mother she was harassing, hurricane preparedness is an excellent topic. I did have to pause, however, at her grocery list. You see, I was a child raised on whole wheat bread and apple sauce. For the longest time I thought "candy" was the dehydrated pineapple in the health food store. The Queen Mum wasn't really hippy-dippy or anything, but she read (probably in Reader's Digest) all this stuff while she was pregnant and was determined to raise me free of chemicals, sugars, and white flour. My first birthday cake was decorated with carob chips for Christ's sake, so when she's talking about beer and cheese doodles, I have to laugh. While I agree that they are excellent hurricane food because you don't have to worry about them going bad, seeing as they're stale already, I can tell you with absolute certainty that my childhood pantry never even saw a cheese doodle, not even one. Not a Chef Boyardee, not a Chips A-Hoy, not a Beenie Weenie, though the Mum did make her own bean concoction on occasion. Apparently she got tired after me and started pumping the other kids full of junk cause it was easier. From the sounds of it, I'd much rather weather a hurricane in her house today, cause I can assure on the 3rd day of no power and carrot sticks, the situation is considerably less fun.

And finally, I'd like to send out wishes for a very Happy Birthday to one A. Newspaper, a frequent blog commenter and long-time friend of mine. Yes, Newspaper and I met in the 6th grade and have remained friends ever since, at times in spite of ourselves. She's also just gotten some big, fancy new job, so congrats to her on that as well. Have a fabulous day with lots of cake and cocktails!!