Halloween Help

Since today is Halloween, I'm going to give a little free advice on last-minute costume selection for those of you, much like myself, who just couldn't be bothered over the weekend. You see, I find that when it comes to costume creation, folks fall into two distinct camps: those who are creative and those who are devils year after year. I have never been the most original when it comes to playing dress-up, but there are a few rules to which I strictly adhere that I find will at least ensure that I'm not the most predictable or redundant person at the party.

First of all, under no circumstances should women go dressed as anything that requires a foamy or furry suit. Abandon any outfit in which you are certain to find yourself sweaty and unable to move about freely, no matter how funny you find the character, leave the anamatronics to Walt Disney.

Secondly, always select costumes that require a glamorous application of make-up. Covering one's face in colored paint is only acceptable if you work at the circus (and let's face it, there's a little something wrong with grown people wanting to be clowns). Even dark angels and punk rockers can look relatively attractive with outlandish make-up that's applied correctly.

Finally, be sure to select a costume that accentuates your shape and/or gives the illusion of breasts (for those of you who have breasts, just make sure they look good). This does not mean you need to dress like a Playboy Bunny, which is probably the most overdone costume ever and inevitably makes the wearer look like they're trying too hard. It's a thin line between titilating and trashy.

Naturally I suggest going as a Princess, no gruesome make-up, a form-fitting dress, and most importantly you get to wear a crown. Above all, just make sure you look good and show little skin. And for God's sake, bring a jacket when you go out because there is nothing attractive about beauty queen with frost bite trying to chase down a cab is shivering stillettos.