Men's Fashion Faux Pas

Okay, so I don't often write about men's fashion faux pas because, to be honest, simply getting dressed is often a struggle for the Y-chromosome. But I know I have a few male readers at least, so I'm going to take the time today to speak out about the bad tie epidemic that is running rampant through the streets of Manhattan.

This morning on the train I was sandwiched between two offenders. The first was duded up in his grey chalk-stripe suit, Gucci loafers, stark white shirt and ....Cotton Candy Pink Tie. Oh no, honey, you are not half so cute as you think you are, getting all in touch with your feminine side. The only circumstance for which one should ever don a shiny satin tie of that hue, is if they are a member of a summer wedding party and the Martha-Stewart-loving, country-club-attending, bitch of a bride wants to make everyone in her wedding party look asinine in hot pink. The tie should never be re-worn in decent society, I don't care what your acrylic nail wearing Staten Island secretary tells you.

The second offender was dressed a tad more conservatively in an almost navy blue pinstripe shirt with a plain white collar. Let's stop right there. Two-tone dress shirts are, in my opinion, ridiculous. It's unclear why one wouldn't want the collar of their shirt to match the rest of it, but apparently Ralph Lauren thinks it looks pretty good and who am I to discount the fashion sense of a menswear icon? Anyhoo, on top of this blue pinstripe shirt was a red and green PLAID tie. Now I don't know who started this whole "plaids and stripes can be worn together" nonsense, but it simply ain't the case. I do not care what those idiots on Sports Center are wearing, they are former athletes, trust me when I tell you - they ain't got no fashion sense. The print aside, in what realm of the universe does a Christmas tie get worn with a Hanukkah shirt? At least get your color families together, for christ's sake!

Look, I get that you boys don't have quite as many fashion options and maybe feel that your work attire is a little dull, but seriously, the suit has been a staple of the corporate wardrobe since the invention of the pant and it's really okay, you don't need to "spice it up." Chics dig guys in suits...trust me, Sweetpotato wore suits on all our first dates and look what a prize he got;-)