A Royal Visit

Did ya'll read in the Post yesterday about the ridiculous entourage that Charles and Camilla are shlepping across the pond for her first state visit as a legitimized member of the Royal Family? Speaking as someone whose true hair color is a long forgotten shade of nothing, I can appreciate the need to have one's root camouflaged at all times, but seriously, to bring your colorist with you for a two week vacation, give me a break. Now someone to style your hair for fancy galas, I can definitely get behind, but if it's still going to look like a blond football helmet with feathery bangs, ol' Camilla might well have left that guy at home. And six outfits a day? Now that's just plain silly, no one over here has time to change clothes that often, though I suppose when you're the theoretical leader of an obsolete monarchy you probably have a bit more time on your hands. At least this explains why everything's so freakin' expensive over there...they have to support an increasing number of "royals" and their 40 plus attendants! It's almost as if she was going into battle against America's high society, flanked with a battalion armed with curling irons and make-up brushes. You're a British figurehead for Christ's sake...nobody expects you to look that good. I'm sure the citizens of the United Kingdom are only too happy to donate their commuter fare so that the Prince's mistress can meet Sarah Jessica Parker looking...as well as can be expected.

And you know how I hate to say anything ugly, and I'm sure she's a very nice person, bless her heart, but if she even thinks about wearing another one of those headdresses made out of plumage, that just may be the final nail in her fashion coffin. All I'm saying is, there are more important things to think about than how you'll look in front of a cocktail party of television personalities (I say from the safe place of having never been invited to one), and the leaders of the free world might do a bit better to remember the crises we're dealing with. Being an unfortunate-looking second wife should not be one of them.