Are you ready for some football?!

This Sunday I am havin' a bunch of folks over to watch the big game on our ridiculously large television. The gathering is disguised as a Superbowl party so Sweetpotato will have friend's to play with, but on my side of the room it's gonna be a "Thank God Football Season Is Finally Over" party!!! After months of having my livingroom taken over by grunting beasts (and I am not even speaking of the players), I finally get to spend a Saturday sport's caster-free, and not a moment too soon. I mean to tell you if I had to watch one more second of playoff games I was seriously gonna have to seek psychiatric help for my rage issues! I would also like to have my boyfriend back, and be able to plan an activity that doesn't include a widescreen or a remote control. You know, the entire sport just doesn't make any sense. Why on earth would you give the ball to a guy who runs right in the middle of a pack of other guys? For the love of god...Go around! These fools have obviously been hit in the head too many times.

Now the Superbowl I don't mind, hell any event involving beer and bar food can't be all that bad. There's nothing like a chicken wing to turn an obnoxiously barbaric sport into an enjoyable afternoon. Of course because it's on a Sunday, I will be drinking Mimosa's, out of respect for the holy day you know. So my plan is to stay in the kitchen as much as possible, (not preparing food or anything like that, cause you know I'm having it all delivered) so as to avoid the screaming and other act of idiocy that plague the Y-chromosome during sporting events. Oh, and also to be nearer the party platter, but that goes without sayin.

I just cannot wait for next weekend, just to wake up free from the chains of the NFL. No frantic phone calls about the trading of fantasy players (which you know I believe to be the most inane activity ever conceived), no arguing with the referees who surely must be able to hear you through the television, no former players still trying to master the English language speculating with unwarranted authority in atrociously flamboyant attire. By the way, someone needs to get ESPN the memo because plaids and stripes should not now, nor should they ever, be worn together. Additionally, the new big-tie-with-printed-shirt phenomenon is less "trendy" and more "I'm getting ready to jump out of a mini car and get a pie in my face." But I digress.

I'd like to raise a glass to the end of the 2005-2006 football season. Here's to Saturday's in the park, Sunday's watching a movie, and the return of my Sweetpotato to the land of the living. So let's bid a farewell, however unfond, to the gridiron ...may he rest in peace.