Southern Hospitality

In case my sweet Southern drawl doesn't translate to print, I am originally from the great state of North Carolina. Not "the Carolinas" as my Yankee in-laws continue to refer to the land of my birth, but NORTH Carolina. South Carolina being the inferior Carolina, we prefer not to be lumped into a single entity. Anyhoo, my Southern friends and I are always trying to explain to folks up North that in the South A) we do have running water and B) we're not quite as slow as you think.

Of course, then you go and try to rent a car. I have rented cars a few times in NYC and every time you hand over your credit card, they ask you if you want insurance, you take the keys and go. Not so fast in ol' N.C. I mean to tell you this man at the counter must not have seen a soul all day, bless his heart, cause he took one look at the birthdate on my license and launched into a 15 minute diatribe on how he has observed a population surge around the years 1972, 1980, and 2000, which has led to overcrowding in schools, an insufficient number of teachers, and the construction of new facilities. Well, maybe he didn't put it quite that eloquently. So this was followed by a story about one of his teachers in the 7th grade having to teach 8th grade as well, and you know "she didn't normally teach 8th grade," so this made quite an impression on him. Now during this time he was holding my credit card but couldn't seem to talk and swipe, so my quick trip in to pick up my car lasted about a half hour's worth of rambling.

And the whole time I'm thinking how there's not a single counter in New York, be it deli, DMV, or doctor's office, where anyone wants to speak more than three words to you. I mean first of all, no way their first language is English, and beyond that, when you have to fight through a mob just to place your order, no one needs to mention overcrowding.

But I guess that's just Southern hospitality for ya...and it is contagious you know. I took Sweetpotato down there once and in two days my hardened New Yorker was waving at folks just driving by. He even said "ya'll" a few times, though he'd never admit it in mixed company. I'm not sayin' it's fun to be carried into a Subway car by force of a swarming mob, nor is paying for a bagel you don't like and didn't order because the screaming deli guy scared you into a hurry the best way to start your day. And of course "Ya'll" will always sound more lovely than "yous guys," and the sweet tea is worth the entire trip....it's just that the trip will have to be cut short if I'm gonna return this rental car and make it to the terminal on time!

And while I love Dixieland and all her charm, I can't help but wonder if we might have won the war if we'd been as concerned with shooting the Yanks as we were with waving at 'em.