No Help Whatsoever!

This may have to be short, as my hand seems to have permanently cramped up from all the Thank You Note writing, but I did want to issue a warning to all my female readers who may be living under the delusion that your Sweetheart will be of any use to you whatsoever when it comes to thanking folks. I realize you ladies who have been married a while are laughing at me at this very moment, but I am afraid that I too was once so foolish as to believe that Sweetpotato might pick up a pen and help me.

Now you must remember that the majority of these notes are to some very lovely people whom I just met for the first time 2 days ago, but that he has known his ENTIRE LIFE. Would you not think that after 30-some years he could scratch out a few words of gratitude...Hell No he can't. Don't be ridiculous ladies, as wonderful as they may seem and helpful as they may be when it comes to planning the party, they sure as hell won't be cleaning up. Apparently, as I have just learned, men consider all gifts your gifts, except of course the checks written in their name, which they will not share with you even though without your finger to wear the ring they wouldn't be getting a damn thing. Neveryoumind that he was the one who picked out all the wine glasses or that he will be using the martini set, these are all my presents to be thankful for. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful. Thankful that I am not an ungrateful, selfish twerp who chooses not to recognize the generosity of my nearest and dearest but rather, have hired a secretary of sorts to take my dictations. Apparently I'm going to have to report him to the better business bureau for conduct unbecoming a husband!

Not to worry, though, I will not allow his Neanderthalic behavior stop be from being the most diligent thank-you-note-writing bride on record!