RSVP dummy!

Another Etiquette Lesson from Dear Queenan:

When invited to a wedding, party, or other social gathering requesting an RSVP, you must actually RESPOND!! How the hell do you expect someone to order the correct amount of cupcakes if they don't know who's coming? And of course you, slacker, will not be the one left dessert-less will you? Oh no. You'll stride right on up to the front of the line like you belong there and snatch the last one out from underneath some poor old relative who called the very instant they received their invite!

I realize that in this day of computer technology it has become rather bizarre feeling to pick up a telephone, but you are grown folks, I promise you can handle it. If you don't wanna risk speaking to your friend's mom or wife or other scary adult figure, just call during an inconvenient time and hope you get the machine.

And you know, it's never the women you don't hear from. Hell, we've picked out the gift, our wardrobe, and mapped a route within 10 minutes of opening the envelope. It's those damn Y-chromosomes you never hear from. I mean to tell you, it is just about ridiculous the lengths I've had to go to get Sweetpotato's idiot friends to RSVP. They know they're coming, they've been talking about drinking free booze for two weeks and yet their response remains blank. But you know they'll be there - giftless - first in line for the bar. And this is just for casual neighborhood events, weddings are even worse. They've booked their hotel, their plane ride, and half a dozen rounds of golf in a city 1,000 miles away and yet they can't mail one little envelope. I mean how much easier can we make it fellas, it's pre-stamped for Christ's sake!

Don't be too discouraged ladies, they do improve with marriage I've observed, of course it's actually less that they've improved and more that they have someone to do it for them, but hey, at least you know how many burgers to throw on the grill!