Introducing Mini Queenie!!

Well isn't she just the PRETTIEST thing you ever-did see? (and the best accessorized at that!) Of course she is, but did you have any doubt she would be? I remind her everyday that she is indeed the prettiest little thing on earth and as such she has a responsibility to also be the the best-behaved, least-fussy child, so as to keep her Mommy pretty as well.

Cause I mean to tell you, this sleep deprivation is for the birds! I know y'all think I am naturally this good-lookin', and generally yes I am, but I do require a certain amount of beauty sleep to maintain my radiant glow, and of course my cheerful disposition;-) Heretofore, I have gotten about 9-10 hours of sleep per night, so you can imagine my surprise when I am awakened every few hours by a near-blind mole rootin' around for my nipples! And I have tried to reason with the child, but unsurprisingly, Mini Q cares not for what I say and will have everything only on her own schedule.

This began in utero when the child decided she was ready to be out, despite the weeks she had time left to cook. In fact, she was such a busy-body that she forced the doctors to push her out 3 weeks early so she could see what was goin' on out here in the world. I personally think she wanted to come early because January has a better birth stone than February and she was thinkin of our jewelry boxes. Nevermind that her baby shower was scheduled for that weekend, she decided it was time and she shot on outta there. Silly child doesn't know that we do not ever interrupt events where we get presents or cake- let alone both- but I reckon she got them all in the end anyway, the spoiled brat.

However, since she did insist upon having her arrival in a controlled manner, Mommy did get to put on her make-up and blow out her hair. The nurse looked at me like I was plum crazy touchin' up my foundation in the delivery room bathroom, I.V. pole draggin behind me, but honey I am not gonna be captured for all eternity without my face on if I can help it! I will say the one favor Mini Q did for me was to come out in a hurry. I mean I only had to push 3 times, didn't even break a sweat, which you can see in the photos as my mascara is not runnin' down my face!

But lorda mercy I wish someone had told me about the afterward! You got folks running in the room to clean up the baby, your family tryin to talk to you while your hoo-ha's split wide open under a spotlight, and they have just handed you some slippery little alien you aren't sure you should even touch, let alone take home with you! And then you got all kinds a stuff happenin' to your down-there, and ain't none if it fun. That this goes on for weeks afterward, someone might have mentioned! So now you're still too fat for your clothes, you got stuff shootin' out your nipples, you haven't slept in days, and you have a maxi-pad the size of Rhode Island between your legs -- where you never want anyone to visit again!

And the perpetrator of this assault on your body just stares up at you with large unfocused eyes, smellin' like the sweetest little piece a heaven, and you can't do nothin' but smile and snuggle her up. I swear if I haven't kissed this child's hair near-bout off her head! So much for reparations for my discomfort. It's clear that Mini Q will not be having anything close to discipline any time soon.

But that's what happens when you're the prettiest... I haven't gotten myself in trouble in years either;-)

Bon Bons and Babies!

I mean to tell you, this baby nonsense takes too long! Next time I have me one of these I'm buyin' the pre-cooked variety, like my mother tried to do with the Thanksgiving turkey. (She was guilted into cookin' the thing from scratch but I will not be so foolish.) Look at all the babies in the world that need good homes. Over in Asia they practically give them away! And anyway, having a baby the same color as you is sooo passe, just ask Angelina.

About the only reasons I can figure why women, after all this time and all these medical developments, continue to blow themselves up like the Macy's blimps are...the presents!

I mean to tell you, baby-havin' is a gift bonanza if I have ever seen one. Now your friend Queenie may not know much about birthin' no babies, but I do know about openin' some presents. I have cleverly arranged to have this kid right about 2 years from the time of my weddin', givin folks juuust enough time to forget that I squeezed 3 showers and a wedding gift outta them in the span of about 3 months.

So my very dear relatives down South threw me the bestest baby shower a Queenan could ever have. Imagine, a room filled with pressies, folks drinking champagne cocktails (though sadly I was not one of them), and instead of silly shower games...BonBons!!!

Can you even imagine an event more perfectly designed for the Queen of Carbohydrates, than a room full of chocolate-shrouded confections?

Who would have thought such a place exists this side of the Pearly Gates? Well down South there are many places close to heaven, though none so sweet as South 'n France.

Y'all have a look at their website now, they ship these de-lectable bonbons all over creation, but if you're lucky enough to live near them you can have your own BonBon party!! You get to make your own bonbons and take home the tasty treats too!


Pascal and Charlene (is there a more perfect name for a Southern Sweets Diva?) run this precious little paradise in downtown Wilmington, NC. Like all entertaining folks, they have a blog which you should check out for a couple of reasons....firstly, to see that hat she's wearin'- y'all know how I feel about hats- I aspire to wear inappropriately large hats that cause stares as I walk to my church pew. And secondly, there might just be a blog about yours truly (look for post "The More the Merrier")
Look how much fun my grandma had with the surly French chef!




Needless to say, the event was a smashing success and I made off like a bandit with the cutest outfits you've ever seen...of course, none of them fit me, which makes it a little less exciting until I remember that at least I'm ensuring that Mini Q is already a fashion plate! I mean the child ain't even born yet and has 97 pairs of socks. And she won't be walking for another year but has half a dozen pair of shoes! And the hats! Oh the hats! Hats for nearly every outfit! I can't stand it! I figure, if I start her in them from the beginning she might one day actually keep them on her head!!

So all-in-all, pressies and treats...a perfect day!! Many thanks to my wonderful Aunties, Grandmother, and the Queen Mum for making it all happen. I'd mention how they spoil me, but I reckon that goes without sayin'!!