Introducing Mini Queenie!!

Well isn't she just the PRETTIEST thing you ever-did see? (and the best accessorized at that!) Of course she is, but did you have any doubt she would be? I remind her everyday that she is indeed the prettiest little thing on earth and as such she has a responsibility to also be the the best-behaved, least-fussy child, so as to keep her Mommy pretty as well.

Cause I mean to tell you, this sleep deprivation is for the birds! I know y'all think I am naturally this good-lookin', and generally yes I am, but I do require a certain amount of beauty sleep to maintain my radiant glow, and of course my cheerful disposition;-) Heretofore, I have gotten about 9-10 hours of sleep per night, so you can imagine my surprise when I am awakened every few hours by a near-blind mole rootin' around for my nipples! And I have tried to reason with the child, but unsurprisingly, Mini Q cares not for what I say and will have everything only on her own schedule.

This began in utero when the child decided she was ready to be out, despite the weeks she had time left to cook. In fact, she was such a busy-body that she forced the doctors to push her out 3 weeks early so she could see what was goin' on out here in the world. I personally think she wanted to come early because January has a better birth stone than February and she was thinkin of our jewelry boxes. Nevermind that her baby shower was scheduled for that weekend, she decided it was time and she shot on outta there. Silly child doesn't know that we do not ever interrupt events where we get presents or cake- let alone both- but I reckon she got them all in the end anyway, the spoiled brat.

However, since she did insist upon having her arrival in a controlled manner, Mommy did get to put on her make-up and blow out her hair. The nurse looked at me like I was plum crazy touchin' up my foundation in the delivery room bathroom, I.V. pole draggin behind me, but honey I am not gonna be captured for all eternity without my face on if I can help it! I will say the one favor Mini Q did for me was to come out in a hurry. I mean I only had to push 3 times, didn't even break a sweat, which you can see in the photos as my mascara is not runnin' down my face!

But lorda mercy I wish someone had told me about the afterward! You got folks running in the room to clean up the baby, your family tryin to talk to you while your hoo-ha's split wide open under a spotlight, and they have just handed you some slippery little alien you aren't sure you should even touch, let alone take home with you! And then you got all kinds a stuff happenin' to your down-there, and ain't none if it fun. That this goes on for weeks afterward, someone might have mentioned! So now you're still too fat for your clothes, you got stuff shootin' out your nipples, you haven't slept in days, and you have a maxi-pad the size of Rhode Island between your legs -- where you never want anyone to visit again!

And the perpetrator of this assault on your body just stares up at you with large unfocused eyes, smellin' like the sweetest little piece a heaven, and you can't do nothin' but smile and snuggle her up. I swear if I haven't kissed this child's hair near-bout off her head! So much for reparations for my discomfort. It's clear that Mini Q will not be having anything close to discipline any time soon.

But that's what happens when you're the prettiest... I haven't gotten myself in trouble in years either;-)