Fabulous Revenge

Did ya'll read about that crazy woman who glued her ex-boyfriend's thingy to his abdomen? http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/11/04/genitals.suit.ap/index.html

Now, ladies there is really no cause for such behavior. Since Lorena Bobbit's famous knife work, it seems like genital mutilation is the punishment of choice for cheating husbands and abusive boyfriends. I despise adultery and brutality as much as the next person, but a man being an asshole does not give you carte blanche to act like a lunatic yourself. My god, if that were the case, we'd all be maniacs by the time we could walk. I'm sure that Miss Crazy Glue felt avenged and empowered by her little antic, but was 20 minutes of pleasure worth the 6 months of probation, the court appearances, the humiliation? Sure, a tube of super glue costs 99 cents, but 6 years of lawyers fees, well now that's another matter. And all you're doing is putting more emphasis on the source of his idiocy...why bother with that silly-looking thing anyway? If you must cut something off, why not a hand...then you affect both his daily life and his sex life.

At one time or another, I'm sure every woman in the world has contemplated inflicting bodily harm on the Y-chromosome who done her wrong. Hell, I have to stop myself from strangling Sweetpotato with every sock I find lying about the livingroom...and the kitchen...and anywhere other than the hamper, but I don't because really, I just can't be bothered. I mean, on top the actual energy it takes to attack someone, you then have trials and jail time and you know I really can't be bothered with an orange jumpsuit.

These revenge acts are just the type of low self-esteem behaviors that prove we've let the Y's win. Honey, if you were really that tough, you'd put on the tallest heels you can walk in, the tightest dress you can breathe in, make-up that borders precariously close to trashy and take yourself out on the town. Being fabulous is the best revenge...take it from me, I've made it my life's work;-)