Stretching the Seam

So I'm watching T.V last night, nothing exciting as it was a Monday, but just as I'm beginning to digest my dinner, what comes on but another Kirstie Alley commercial for Jenny Craig. And she's screeching in that annoying way of hers about how she's lost fifty pounds, while sausaged into the most atrocious dress I've ever seen, and I become a bit nauseous at the sight of over-stretched denim and cellulite. Now Kirstie, we all know you have lost some weight and we are just so proud of you (bless your heart), but honey you are still a size 14 so you need to stop trying to squeeze yourself into a 10. It's not pretty and it does little for your ad campaign. Yes, folks, you too can look too big for your clothes after only 5 months of starving yourself!

Speaking of wardrobe malfunction, did you see Star Jones at the Emmy's? I mean I know this was a while back, but the image of her in stretchy purple velvet is burned into my retinas. She was like a great gathered Barney, the inane self-serving edition. Aren't her fifteen minutes up yet? Guess she's hanging on to her celebrity with the same grip she hangs on to her dinner plate. My God, I wish she'd let go!

It really makes no sense to me for someone to spend so much energy on being thin and then throw their bulges out there for the world to see. You lost a few pounds, congratulations, doesn't mean you're ready to pose for Maxim, so keep your clothes on! Nothing wrong with a nice black pants suit because unless you are Angelina, camouflage is still the way to go.

My final thought on the subject of too small attire: just because it zips doesn't mean it fits. (You heard it here folks, words to live by.)