Name Game

I need to discuss something that's been bothering me for some time now...baby names. Not because I'm havin one or anything, lord the Queen Mum would have to be hospitalized, but I was just thinking about the ridiculous names folks are calling their kids these days. And I'm not even talking about celebrity babies, I mean Apple, Coco, Rumor, whatever. Celebrities are their own breed of weird, so we can't really factor them in to many equations.

Anyway, did you notice about 5-6 years ago everyone was naming their kid Hunter and Dakota to be "different," so they were probably right surprised when there were 4 other Hunter's their kids preschool class. Same thing went for stupid girl names like Tiffany and Brittany...what the hell kind of names are those, they sound like pop stars and Barbie dolls, not actual people. I mean, are the parents really thinking this through. Children are children for but a moment in the big picture, and can you really see a Grandma Tiffany. Grown folks are simply not named Tiffany. Of course conversely, it's hard to imagine calling an infant Ethel or Gladys like in days of old. But we do spend most of our lives as adults, so Gladys fit right on in by age 18.

Oh yes, and can you stop with the "movie star" names. Amy...A-M-Y, not Aimiee or whatever concoction mommy came up with in her epidural haze. It's like folks are playing word jumble with their kids' names. Why make simple names so difficult, you're only asking for a misprint on every letter, nametag or diploma they receive.

All I'm saying is, give your kid a real name, none of this Harloquin Trash nonsense. Their grandchildren will thank you.