More Words of Wisdom...

...from your pal Queenan. Today's letter is sent to us from a young woman caught in the common trap of the never-ending breakup.

She writes:

Dear Queenan,

My ex and I broke up almost a year ago but things
continued on between us for 4 months after that until
he moved out of state. I went to visit him and it
things still carried on. Last week he came to visit me
and again things still carried on.

We always have tried to remain friend but I think I am
becoming someone that I never wanted to be. I still
want to be with him forever and have turned down any
guy that asks me out b/c I know that it would make my
ex jealous.

On the otherhand I know that he probably does not have
the same feelings for me and is just holding on to me
until something better comes along. I have tried my
best to let go. I am going home next weekend and will
see him again. What should I do without breaking off
the friendship? How can I make myself move on?

Sincerely,
Lost

and I responded:

Dear Lost,

Now look honey, this is a classic case of the prolonged breakup. You know folks just have the hardest time stayin away from each other, which I have never understood because you broke up cause you didn't want each other in the first place! I know, I know, it's just so comfortable, especially the physical parts, you already know what each other looks like naked so it take the pressure off right?

Praise the Lord, he has moved away and taken his body with him.
However, old habits die hard and here you are waitin around for him to come back to town for a little tete a tete (and other parts) when you should be out find someone else's parts to play with. You have to get a grip on the fact that y'all are not together. This will not happen until you're datin other folks so get on out there. Do you have any idea how many free cocktails you have passed up waitin around for this fool?

And you need to understand that he's just using you and the comfort of your relationship for something to hold on to while sowing his oats and whatever else off on his new turf. Look honey, if he's gettin the milk, he needs to buy the cow (and I am in no way referring to any size you may or may not be;-)

You can't be friends with ex's. Period. At least not until a SIGNIFICANT amount of time has passed. Oh, and you have to have had at least one actual relationship in between, otherwise you're too likely to find yourself hooking up in the restaurant bathroom after only your second cosmo.

As for making yourself move on...just go! I mean really, why do you even want to waste time waiting for guy who's just passing time. If he was the one for you, the planets would align and y'all'd be together. If you haven't felt any atmospheric shifts lately, then chances are he's not your guy.

Say it with me now...he didn't do well, he had to go.
Words to live by darlin, words to live by.

Royally,
Q


Ann Landers, eat your heart out