Wedding Woes

Now y'all may have noticed that I've been less than diligent in my posting as of late, and for that I do apologize. You see the thing is, my entire life has been sucked into the joys of wedding planning and my single friends told me they weren't interested in reading posts about being a bride cause they aren't brides.

Well, that's just too damn bad! This my world and I control what's written in it!

Okay, so I just have to say that other outbursts like the above, I have not been nearly the Bridezilla y'all would believe me to be. I will tell you though, that planning a wedding is the reason for so many broken engagements, I mean this stuff is ridiculous. One day you're consumed with this season's animal-print pumps and the next minute you're about to lose your mind for a chocolate-colored tablecloth! Never before in my life have I cared so much about centerpieces and chair upholstery, and to be sure I do not care now, I've just been guilted into it by every freaking bridal magazine on earth. In fact, I was in such denial that Sweetpotato finally had to go buy me a stack of those horrible wedding magazines just to make sure did in fact have a wedding.

And you would just not believe the crap in these magazines. If you think I have the time or the inclination to fashion individually wrapped heart-shaped boxes of truffles around every place card, you are out of your mind. In fact, I can't even be bothered with place cards. I do not carry who you sit beside, hell I don't care if you sit down at all. I have 947 pictures to smile for at the reception so Aunt Bobby Jo and Cousin Betty Sue can fight out their childhood issues in the parking lot, cause I'm not running interference with a seating chart.

There are just too many things left to do, all of them costly, and all I really wanna do is sit on the couch with my glass of merlot and watch Grey's Anatomy. Instead poor 'Tater and I spend every evening making lists and gettin in arguments over who pays the preacher! I mean really, you'd think you could get a break from the men of God, but weddings are big business these days and no one wants to miss out on their slice of the cake.

Mmmmm cake. Now there's a reason to get married, that and the 900 hundred wine glasses and thirty-five cheese platters. Now if only you could register for closet space, I'd be good to go!