A bedtime story...

Once upon a time, there was a lovely, talented young woman with flowing blond hair and a beautiful, if round, face. One day, she packed her twin bed and her paltry wardrobe into the back of a U-Haul truck and with her two friends headed north to the great city of New York, to fulfill her destiny of stage stardom. She arrived to the bustling metropolis with no job, no contacts, no savings, and enough cash to pay the rent...once.

Sure that she'd be employed within a week, the young woman wondered why her parents' faces looked so stricken as she pulled out of the driveway, for she knew that with her skills as a waitress, she'd have no problem finding a job.

And so after setting up her bed in someone else's room, and hanging her "closet" in the hallway, she left her 200 sq. foot apartment and set about enquiring at every restaurant in Manhattan for open server positions. Many restaurants and many rejections later, she was given the opportunity to train at a very fancy place in Hell's Kitchen, owned by a famous chef, and run like an army regiment. Full of energy and ready to prove her worth, the young woman dutifully memorized the menu, folded the napkins, and followed the other servers around for 3 days until she was suddenly told not to return because she'd dared to ask the definition of tartare. While a mistake, to be sure, we must remember that the young woman came from a land where everything from the sea was deep-fat fried and the idea of raw seafood brought visions of food poisoning and lawsuits to her head. Alas, her question was punishable by firing, though in truth she'd never even been hired.

Undaunted, the young woman struck out again on the streets of New York, determined to find her way through the pitfalls of the gigantic city and pay her rent without having to sell her plasma. Quickly, she found another restaurant that was, while extremely entertaining, not the most lucrative place to be employed.

After over a year of struggling against insane bosses, long audition lines, and poor tippers, the woman left the restaurant/actor world for the corporate one, trading late nights for early mornings, and tips for wages (though the overall impact on her bank account was negligible). It was around this time, that the young woman met a handsome prince who wined and dined her, and taught her that tartare was not only safe but delicious as well. Their love grew until one day he presented her with a beautiful ring and asked her to be his wife. He flew her across the ocean and danced with her under the stars in a land so beautiful she could hardly believe her good fortune.

All this time, the woman had been working her way up that corporate ladder until finally, just as she was about to throw in the towel and sell junk on the side of the road, she was granted a fabulous promotion with a salary to match. On that day, the young woman and her handsome prince returned to the restaurant where she was let go the week she arrived in Manhattan, but this time her name was on the reservation book and she would be the one waited upon. She would order the most expensive thing on the menu, perhaps even the tartare.

Yes tonight, with happily-ever-after firmly in her grasp, she will celebrate her own kind of fairytale and she will pay the bill. All this to prove, with four and a half years, lots of determination, and a few Visa cards, there's really nothing one can't accomplish.

And that, boys and girls, is why it is so good to be Queen.