Bar Talk

So last night all the girls went out to celebrate Fashion Slave's birthday. Yes, the lovely Fashion Slave has turned another year older. How old you ask? I'd say she's probably old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway...like me!

Anyhoo, we had a lovely dinner and drinks and all, and naturally we got to talkin about the Y-chromosome and all it's flaws. Someone asked the question, "what do a group of guys talk about when they're out at a bar together?" Well I can tell you....absolutely NOTHING!

It's an odd and amazing phenomenon, but men can actually spend time together and not discuss a single thing of import. I mean, I can have a 20-minute conversation with a girlfriend and walk away knowing the details of her tragic break-up, last night's date, the latest dieting venture, and her outrageous shoe splurge- and that's if we've just seen each other the week before! But Sweetpotato, he can hang out for hours with a friend he hasn't talked to in a month and come home with NO new information! He doesn't even know if they guy's dating anyone! I mean, seriously, how can you not ask these questions?

The thing is, he doesn't seem bothered at all by not knowing the every movement of his friends' lives, and I guess they aren't bothered by his. The truly amazing thing to me is, I mean they stand at the bar for hours together, and I see their lips moving, but it's not clear that they're actually saying anything. Of course, there's the obligatory comment on a pair of large breasts or a nice butt, and the chest-beating about who could get those breasts into bed - not that they'd get off their bar stool to talk to them. But other than that, it appears they nod at the television and rattle off sport's statistics in between bathroom breaks.

How their lives are not affected by the drama of their friends' relationships, I just can't understand. I mean, if I didn't have my friends' lives to dissect, what would I do with my time? There is nothing so entertaining as hashing and rehashing angst-ridden episodes from the past, especially involving people who aren't there to defend themselves!

And the gap between the X and Y chromosomes widens further. If guys don't have anything to say they stay quiet. If we don't have anything to say, we talk about someone else!