Schadenfreude

I'm sure you all will be happy to know that my thighs are recovering nicely from the lunges of death. This in no thanks at all from the overwhelming LACK OF SUPPORT from my nearest and dearest.

Speaking of Mummy Dearest, she only called to heckle me about how her old ass can do more lunges than my younger one. First of all, she lives in a one-story home and drives around in her car, while I encounter about 19 flights of stairs just getting to work! Do not think that your superior quadriceps strength means you can go wearin' skirts above the knee, old lady.

My coworkers have actually been poking me in the leg in between giggling fits every time I get out of a chair, and one of my oldest friends just informed me that she laughed out loud at her desk while reading of my plight. In fact, she's still probably laughing trying to imagine my whimpers as I lowered myself onto the toilet seat.

Though I suppose I shouldn't be too upset, I mean I too enjoy a great deal of schadenfreude. Is there really anything better than watching somebody fall down? Of course not if they break their arm or something, but just the old slip-and-fall on a slick floor as they grasp wildly for something hold them upright...that's good stuff. Really it's about that look of panic in their eyes on the way down.

Seeing someone fall down is just about as funny as pants ripping or benches crumbling underneath a group photo-op. It probably seems cruel to say, but then America's Funniest Home Videos ran for like a million years, and all that show was made of were clips of people falling down or getting hit in the balls. Blockbusters have been born of schadenfreude- who doesn't love when the robbers in Home Alone get an iron to the face?

In some twisted way, misery is simply funny- as long as it's not happening to you of course. I don't wish for really bad things to happen to other people, but if they happen to trip in my presence, well funny for me!