New Orleans "Sightseeing"

Just last week Sweetpotato and I celebrated our first anniversary with a trip to The Big Easy, and what a luurvley trip it was. New Orleans is the kind of place where you can do nothing but eat, drink and sleep and feel good about it. I mean there are tours to take and sights to see, if you're into that sort of thing, but we're more "as seen from your bar stool" kinda folks.

Now the one thing that is totally trashy but institutional nonetheless about New Orleans are all the titty bars. I mean, they don't bother me or anything, but I really don't feel it necessary that they advertise with pictures of half-naked teenagers in the window! I mean, there are children walking by for goodness sake! And then at night of course, the "ladies" appear in the doorway in their undies, holding up cardboard signs as if being named 'Barely Legal' didn't tip us off to what went on inside.

These stripper girls aren't the ones I'm concerned with though- they are exactly who they say they are- it's the waitresses at the other bars that are the issue. Now I have waited tables in my day so I understand there is an element of whoring yourself out to any service job, but to do it while actually looking like a whore, no that's something else all together. I mean these girls are serving beers for all the world in hot pants and bra. And I'm fine with it- really, I have no "objectification of women" issue cause they wanna look like this- but I'm just saying, honey ain't this a lotta extra work? Cause you know it's hard enough to keep weight off in a world where everything good is deep-fried or soaked in alcohol, but to have to walk around with your ass cheeks hanging out every night certainly curtails your eating enjoyment. Serving folks is a tough job to begin with, but to have to worry about your cellulite getting squashed out from under your faux-leather chaps, well that's just too much pressure!

In the end, I guess they make their tips cause the bars were certainly packed with bachelor parties and frat boys, all just dying to take a shot of midori from between their implants. I was quite pleased when my Sweetpotato turned down the little shot girl's pouty offer of a green tube, though I know he really did want to help her "put herself through college" (code: buy more cocaine)

You know these girls are writing home to they mommas that they have a great bar tending job to earn a little extra spending money, details like they've dropped out of school and ride mechanical bulls in their swimsuit conveniently omitted.

I guess the argument in the end, is that you do what you gotta do to pay the bills, but I know I'm drawin the line. I will do plenty of things to make money honey, even schelp around cocktails to poorly behaved assholes but to be sure if I've gotta suffer though the service industry I'd damn well better get to wear pants!