Halloween NYC

The scary thing about Halloween in New York City is that you're never quite sure if folks are in costume or if they just be cra-zy. This morning, for instance, I saw a grown-ass man walking down the street in a diaper and baby bonnet. Now of course this was a costume, but at 8:30 in the morning it was still a bit odd. But then because it was New York, no one even looked twice at this 6-foot-tall man with hairy legs sucking on a pacifier. I mean, he can't be any crazier than the guy wearing a tu-tu that shouts obscenities at passersby every other day of the year.

There are so many crazy people here there are days it feels like an asylum. Hell, half the time I feel like I'm the one that should be institutionalized. It's little wonder though, with how many folks there are. You just try cramming onto the subway at rush hour one good time, when the platform is 7 people deep and folks run over small children to squish themselves into a car. You'll be half-crazy inside 15 minutes and that's not an exaggeration.

The Halloween crazies are generally harmless, though not quite as much fun. I mean, if you pick out your clown clothes to mismatch on purpose it's not the same as the folks who really think they should wear bright orange with paisley and hats adorned with fake flowers. There are those who try to "dress up" with the little cat ears and eyeliner whiskers but those folks don't even count. In New York it's "go big or go home," no half-assed attempts at costumes will do!

And because it's New York and the limits here were set to be pushed, there's even a truck the travels to each Ricky's costume store with a stage where sexy maids, schoolgirls, and devils gyrate around with their asses out for all the sidewalk to admire. Totally inappropriate. Totally Trashy. Totally New York.

I'm kind of over Halloween as a general rule, especially when it falls mid-week and I don't have time to have a hangover at work the next day. I do however support the eating of candy and buy strategically (as did my mother) for the "trick-or-treaters." See Mum always had a big bowl of crap candy, you know, the assorted bag of smarties and generic blow-pops, from which she loaded up the bags of cutely dressed kids at our door. Then there was the extra stash just in case she ran out. Odd that we never ran out and odd that the "emergency candy" was bags of miniature Milky Way and 3 Musketeers. Even more odd that only she knew the location of said stash, though occasionally I would stumble upon a half-eaten bag in the back of some rarely-used cabinet around Valentine's Day. But I guess that's the secret to a happy Halloween for adults. We don't get too many kids in apartment buildings up here so I have to eat all the left-overs...needless to say I don't buy smarties;-)