How men are like dogs

Now I don't mean this like the whole "men are dogs because they sniff around everyone's crotch and do you wrong and leave you" kinda stuff. I am making a serious statement based on empirical evidence.
For example:

Saturday night, Sweetpotato and I were heading out, leaving a very sad puppy dog behind in the apartment. Right before we left, SP threw her a big ol' steak bone and we snuck out the door. So involved was she in the devouring of said bone that not a whine was heard as we left the building. (Yes, I know, dogs are supposed to be trained such that humans don't have to bribe them but that is not the point here so just stay with me.)
Having successfully satisfied the dog with the bone, Sweetpotato turns to me and says, "dogs are so simple." To which I replied, "Honey, dogs may be simple, but men are barely a step up."
I mean seriously, in addition to a steak, all you need to add are beer and football and you can leave the house for hours!

Sweetpotato rolled his eyes at me as he does to all Queenanisms, and I smiled smugly as I do after creating them.

The next day - the very next day - I had brunch plans with my girlfriends so, alcohol in the fridge, steak on the speed dial, and playoff game on the television, I left the house with the promise to return in 2 hours. One bloody mary turned into two turned into Sunday Funday and the next thing you know I was a bottle of champagne deep and 4 hours late.

Now I had of course let SP know that I was going to stay out because everyone knows that you must submit venue changes, not for approval but for simple courtesy, so he wasn't at all surprised...nor did he really notice. Had there not been a game on, he might have required my presence because of course I am to be his entertainment when he's bored, but- much like a dog with a bone- a man with a game needs no further amusement. The Playoffs may actually be the one event about which Y's have a singular focus.

I'm telling you now ladies, we've only got a few weeks left of this football season, so throw some beer in the fridge and get your shopping shoes on cause after the Superbowl they're back to wondering where we go, with whom, and how much money we spent. So in these last few precious weeks, grab your girlfriends and a credit card and let the mimosa's flow. Oh, and if you can, get them into college basketball I think that's our next big bone in the sporting seasons!