Pageant Amendment

Okay, so about that last essay... I may have gone a bit overboard with the factual liberties. Basically, I wrote that years ago, back when I had aspirations of a book about a hap-hazard aspiring young actress trying to make it in the big city and the witty, inspirational tales of her tragedies and triumphs. And while that idea has not been fully abandoned, it has certainly been pushed to the back of the line for more substantial goals like getting the dog to stop walking me!


Anyway, the essay is definitely about your old pal Queenie, but before she was a character of reality.

Bottom line: I do not now, nor will I ever, have breast implants!!

I did employ duct tape and padding may times during my theatrical career and while rather uncomfortable, I have never been interested in a permanent fix to my flat-chested problems. On top of the fact that fake boobs always look fake, I have found that an inflated chest just accentuates my inflated upper arms, making me look rounder all around, and trust me friends, I don't need any help.

Everything else in the essay is absolutely true....tragically so in fact. My poor friends forced to fill seats in those unair-conditioned auditoriums can attest to every gory detail.