Emmy 2006

Okay now, I planned to do a nice Emmy re-cap for y'all tomorrow morning, but I am sitting here watching the Red Carpet and I have to say these words:

Ryan Seacrest is THE WORST interviewer ever in the history of the world!

My God, if he is not the cockiest S.O.B. on the face of the earth. He has not asked a single pertinent question, nor had he amused us with any witty banter. He has however, harassed several celebrities and left every interviewee wondering why the hell they're talking to a glorified radio personality who doesn't have the finesse God gave Kathy Griffin (if you can imagine). He actually said he had no idea who any of the designers were, but he did share with America his vision prescription before his lasik surgery...because we couldn't possibly have lived another day without that information.

He is really ruining one of my favorite nights of the year. Y'all know nothing makes me happier than watching a constellation full of minor stars trying to look A-list and failing miserably. It's like a whole auditorium of Little Dippers wearing Big No-no's.

Hell, already Jean Smart, whom I love, has walked out lookin' like she just rolled outta bed and pinched her cheeks. I bet she's re-thinking not getting her hair did. Same thing with Ellen Pompeo, she is actually wearing my half-up elastic hairband style from 4th grade. Surely she coulda broke out the curling iron for a night like this!

Tyra Banks looks absolutely flawless of course, but I am just not so sure that dress was worth $50,000. I mean for that kinda money you could probably get straps on both shoulders.

Hello Jeremy Piven, I know you're too cool for school now that your little HBO show is a big hit, but you couldn't even shave for us? You brought your momma with you and she let you outta the house like that? Shameful.

And take a look at Sandra Oh No You Didn't Wear Your Grandma's Entire Box of Costume Jewelry With A Vera Wang Gown!!

And really, everyone else kinda underwhelmed me. You know the television stars are better behaved than the Oscar-goers cause they're still trying to get into the big leagues, which makes for a very dull red carpet. Normally I'd be sad the fashion show has ended, but after 2 hours listening to Ryan Seacrest's insipid drivel, I am about ready to stab my own eyes out so for tonight...Seacrest Out (and mean GET OUT!)