Bad Mommy

And from the category: Trailer Trash Will Do Anything For Publicity...we have Britney Spears on the cover of Harper's Bazaar.

This is too much. I mean there almost aren't any words...almost, of course.

Now look here you washed up pop star, nobody wants to see your naked pregnant ass every morning as they buy their paper. Most women wear loosely fitting clothes when they've got a bun in the oven and here you are splattered across every newsstand from here to Tim-BUK-tu wearing nothing but the gaudiest damn necklace I have ever laid eyes on.
Of course I am not suggesting there is anything shameful in a rounded belly; pregnancy is a beautiful thing. I am saying that the way to combat rumors of being a bad mother and a trashy has-been is probably not to take your clothes off for all the world during your second trimester.

Listen to me Brit. You are NOT Demi Moore. She was the original naked mommy and it was fabulous and sexy. Of course, she is fabulous and sexy and you are well...not. Why couldn't you just sit this one out? Just go on being barefoot and pregnant in ripped jeans with your roots showing like only you can be. Honey, with all those stretch marks your snake charming days are O-V-E-R, and until modern science has found the missing link, your offspring will remain half man - half moron, just like their father.

So, Mommy Dearest, you better get back in the studio and start trying to salvage anything that may be left of your career, cause with the amount of therapy your kids are gonna need somebody in that house had better get a job!