Funeral Lesson
So last night I had to attend a memorial service from someone work-related, so though death is always sad, I was a bit more detached than I normally would be, seeing as I'd never even met this person. Hence some of the events are rather humorous to me and I wanted to share them with you, so that you might not make the same mistakes, God help you.
I realize everyone has their own way of grieving and I believe you need to do whatever you need to do, but folks, there are time, place, and manner restrictions on funeral etiquette. I was alright with the endless line of speakers taking shots of tequila in the guys honor, if you feel the need to celebrate someone's drinking problem, more power to ya. I was alright with all the old stories to which I couldn't relate and had no frame of reference and which were not at all, in the very least amusing. I was even alright with the guy who wanted to light a candle to call in the spirits - helpful one's only of course. But when he started calling them with the maracas, I drew the line. I mean to tell you, this fool stood up on a stage in front of 200 of his peers and shook these bamboo stick-things up and down to the four winds. Now look, you wanna play "shaman" on your own time, you go right ahead, but considering you're in a room full of Jews and non-denom Christians, it's probably not the right time to get out your incense. And then he made us visualize holding hands in a field while he rubbed what looked like one of those sticky lint rollers around the top of some sort of brass bowl while chanting something unintelligable.
Have you ever tried not to convulse into fits of laughter at a funeral? It is not easy, let me tell you. Seriously your Shaman-ness, or whatever the hell you call yourself, TIME, PLACE and MANNER. Get it together, would ya? I sure hope the dearly departed got to the next world or wherever he was going, otherwise this maraca dude will be chanting for a long time. I mean, sing, joke, cry - all acceptable funeral behaviors. Chant, hum, and summon spirits...umm, maybe not.
I realize everyone has their own way of grieving and I believe you need to do whatever you need to do, but folks, there are time, place, and manner restrictions on funeral etiquette. I was alright with the endless line of speakers taking shots of tequila in the guys honor, if you feel the need to celebrate someone's drinking problem, more power to ya. I was alright with all the old stories to which I couldn't relate and had no frame of reference and which were not at all, in the very least amusing. I was even alright with the guy who wanted to light a candle to call in the spirits - helpful one's only of course. But when he started calling them with the maracas, I drew the line. I mean to tell you, this fool stood up on a stage in front of 200 of his peers and shook these bamboo stick-things up and down to the four winds. Now look, you wanna play "shaman" on your own time, you go right ahead, but considering you're in a room full of Jews and non-denom Christians, it's probably not the right time to get out your incense. And then he made us visualize holding hands in a field while he rubbed what looked like one of those sticky lint rollers around the top of some sort of brass bowl while chanting something unintelligable.
Have you ever tried not to convulse into fits of laughter at a funeral? It is not easy, let me tell you. Seriously your Shaman-ness, or whatever the hell you call yourself, TIME, PLACE and MANNER. Get it together, would ya? I sure hope the dearly departed got to the next world or wherever he was going, otherwise this maraca dude will be chanting for a long time. I mean, sing, joke, cry - all acceptable funeral behaviors. Chant, hum, and summon spirits...umm, maybe not.
posted by Queenan at 6:16 AM
2 Comments:
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