Lights Aren't So Bright on Broadway

Y'all know I moved to Manhattan to be on the Broad-way, though of course my plans of stage stardom were thwarted by my inability to get out of bed for auditions and general abhorance of the acting profession. Regardless, I quite enjoy a good musical and frequent The Great White Way whenever my bank account allows, which is seldom of course, but I keep up nonetheless.

So I just have to say that I am about to throw up at the latest bit of gossip that Ashlee Simpson has been offered a role in the musical Chicago, either in NYC or London. Now look here, that poor show has been bastardized within an inch of it's life for the past 5 years and it just will not die! Every other person in Hollywood it seems is fulfilling her fantasy of actually having talent, by signing up for a few months to share a stage with actual actors. Right now Usher is in the mix, and just last month Rita Wilson, straight of her role as Tom Hank's wife, played Roxie Hart. Now let me ask you something. In what world would Renee Zellweger, Rita Wilson and Ashlee Simpson all be up for the same role, in the same decade?! This is absurd. It's beyond absurd, it's total bullshit and I am just beside myself.

There are folks all over this town with more talent in their left foot than Miss Simpson has in her entire body who are barely paying rent and waiting tables and praying for a callback, and here's this moronic second-fiddle sister stepping to the front of the line because there's a producer somewhere who won't admit defeat and close the damn show! Perhaps Ashlee doesn't know that Broadway is LIVE theater, not Saturday Night Live-live, but really, truly, there-is-no-sing-along-track-live.

Apparently, for the rich and famous the world is their playground and even something as pure as the live talent on Broadway will sell out for a name on the Marquee. You see this is the very reason I had to forego my acting career... well, that and an aversion to starvation and humiliation, but purity of the craft makes a much better statement;-)